Romney Presidency, Day One


1. Repeal Obamacare

1. End Medicare

1. Reinstate Don’t ask Don’t Tell

1. Revive Osama

1. Re-invade Iraq

1. Reignite the Cold War

1. Institute Mormonism as a one world religion

1. Reinstate chastity belts for all teenage girls

1. Ban EPA

1. Write a law banning free-thinking

1. Unify Church and State

1. Bring back segregation

1. Ban shoes and celibacy for women i.e. make them all barefoot and pregnant

1. Ban appologies

1. Ban Factcheckers

1. Withdraw USA from the UN

1. Officially make Israel the 51st state

1. Invade Iran

1. Invade Syria

1. Triple Defense budget

1. Reinstate the draft to cope with multiple war fronts

1. Make poverty a crime

1. Nullify taxes for 1%ers, corporations, investments, estate taxes, himself, Bain cronies, and whoever else funded his campaign.

1. Get good price for selling USA to China

1. Triple cost of college attendance by removing interest rate caps

1. Triple poverty level

1. Quintuple infant mortality rate by repealing Obamacare

1. Turn the present wealth gap into a permanent caste system with the rich forever in charge

1. Substitute all online news for Fox news opinion pieces

1. Make Fox news the National broadcaster

1. Make himself a billionaire by eliminating ALL of his tax obligations

1. Invade Canada in search of WMDs

1. Rape MotherJones

1. Make cooky Annie Romney queen of all

1. End all government fundingĀ  for green technology

2. Declare all the problems for the 1% with “our values” (billionaires) fixed, leaving the 47% aka 99% to fend for themselves in a Somalia-esque wasteland where stale bread is the currency and GOP is a cuss-word!